Today I am Mommy

Please don't expect me to be a functioning member of society today. It's not going to happen. Please don't tell me I look tired. I AM tired. I'm aware I look tired and I don't need to be reminded. Sleep just doesn't grace me these days. It is 11:15am and I'm up for the day and this is the only five minutes I will have to myself until my husband gets home. I've been wearing the same pair of yoga pants for three days and it's even a wonder I'm wearing a bra (hey, does that mean it's going to be a good day?! I hope so!) I will constantly have someone clinging to me, feeding from me, needing me, yelling at me, crying for me...it's exhausting, but I chose this. Right now this is my life...my crazy, hot mess of a life. 

Even though I'm convinced Tucker hates me because he wants to eat every hour and a half, I love him with all of my heart. And when I think I have a moment's peace, Aiden swoops in with his grabbing of my hands and BOOM! I'm pulled from the couch (that oh-so-comfy spot on the couch) to wherever he thinks it is that I need to go. Because oh, by the way, he can't talk. So everything is either whining or babbling. And lately, talking to the walls is the way to go. I don't get enough adult conversation, and sometimes that's enough to make a girl go crazy. You should try it some time, or don't. No, you probably shouldn't. Unless hiding alone in your closet to eat a piece of peanut butter chocolate sounds appeasing. Because that's the only way you'll get it - since Aiden is allergic to peanut butter and will scream at the top of his lungs if you don't share. But he hears that tiny piece of paper crackle when you are sneakily trying to open it. He doesn't understand why he can't have it, for all he knows I'm just being an asshole and won't give a bite (or five.) 

I'm blessed with two healthy boys, a saint of a husband, and a nice home that [technically] belongs on a Febreeze commercial. But that's okay, my friends. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. One day my boys will be grown and won't need me. They will both sleep through the night and so will I and that means I won't look tired and you won't be tempted to tell me I look so. They will be able to function on their own and will probably tell me how much they hate me. It feels like that day will never get here, but when it does, I'm going to wish for these days back. I'm going to want them little again. So, in these sleepy moments that are spent with eyes barely open, I'll enjoy today. I'll make it special. I'll remember every single second. I'm doing just fine - I have to remind myself of this or else my husband will find me in a corner one day and won't even recognize me. Instead he will think some insane person from an institution somewhere escaped and chose a random corner at our house to mumble profanities. I also remind myself that God never gives us more than we can handle. I'm raising children and at the same time they are raising me. We're growing together and I can't forget that. I'm going to enjoy all the kisses Aiden is willing to give me (even the sloppy ones ten times in a row.) I'm going to soak up all the lazy cuddles with Tucker while we nurse and let the dishes pile up. Today I have not a care in the world. Today I am mommy.

I'm glad I didn't pour the milk in my cereal yet (I'll get to eat that someday, right?), because I have a tiny human crying for my boobs now and who knows how long that will take. Goodbye!

DIY Sugar Scrub

I don't know what it is about these pregnancy hormones, but they are totally drying my skin out! I mean, c'mon, what happened to that pregnancy glow I'm supposed to get and those long luscious locks? They are no where to be found.

Aiden went down for a nap and left me bored and alone, so I got in the mood to do a project! I dug out an old mason jar I had stored and grabbed the rest of the stuff I needed. I made this one up as I went, and I'll admit, I really love it!

You will need:

• 1 mason jar - I used a wider top jar
• 3/4 cup white granulated sugar
• 2 tbsp baby oil
• 1/4 cup Dawn dish soap with Olay Hand Renewal
• any kind of cute cupcake wrapper you have lying around

What to do:

1. Start by adding 3/4 cup of sugar to your mason jar.
2. Next, add the 2 tbsp of baby oil and give the mixture a good stir.
3. Now you are going to add about 1/4 cup of the dish soap.
4. Stir your scrub really, really well. Lift up the jar and look at the bottom to be sure you haven't left any white sugar at the bottom.
5. It might look a little thin, but I promise when you pour some into your palm and begin to scrub your hands, it will be a perfect consistency! 
6. Add your cupcake wrapper to the top of your mason jar (between the lid and rim.)

Voila! Be sure to follow up your scrubbing with your favorite lotion! Not only is this really easy to do, but it's so cheap and it smells so amazing! I hope you enjoyed this super simple tutorial! Let me know what you think!

Halfway Point!

Sunday marked a pretty huge point in my pregnancy! I turned 20 weeks this past Sunday, April 6th.

We've had a name picked out since I was about 6 weeks pregnant and the name came to me in a dream - Tucker. I told Adam about the dream and how we are apparently having a boy, because I picked a name in my dream! Adam told me that he wanted to use his middle name "Daniel" for Tucker and I agreed. I love that we didn't have to argue or anything! Fast forward 9 weeks and we found out for sure that we are in deed having another baby boy!

When I was pregnant with Aiden, the whole nine months was almost nothing but constant morning sickness even with the nausea medicine. I gained a lot of unnecessary weight and I am pretty sure I was pre-eclampsic and they never really caught it. The last couple of weeks before Aiden was born was awful and I just remember being so swollen. Looking back at pictures I can see it. I asked myself the entire time "How can women do this more than once? How do women have more than one kid?" I always got the same response "You will forget all of the bad stuff as soon as you lay your eyes on your baby and get to hold him for the very first time." Can I just say that truer words have never been spoken?!

I can remember being home with Aiden for those first few weeks and months and all I wanted was to be pregnant again. I could no longer keep him to myself. I could no longer keep him protected from this bright and scary world we live in. I could no longer feel each jab, stab, and kick. I missed it, like, REALLY missed it. I never in a million years thought that I would ever want to be pregnant again, but I did. In those tiny quiet moments when I nestled him in my arms and shushed him to sleep. In those tiny, quiet moments when he looked at with such awe and admiration. I knew I wanted to be pregnant again. I knew I NEEDED to be pregnant again. Pregnancy is a small sacrifice you make, giving your body to your baby, so that they can greet you and you can raise and mold them into the person they are meant to be. I'm so freakin' excited that the boys will be so close in age! We are going to have our hands full, but the memories we are going to have will be so worth it!

This pregnancy as a whole so far has been a lot easier, but still hard some days. Early on I didn't have any morning sickness. It finally decided to hit me and then I got a stomach virus or something and went to the hospital because I was severely dehydrated. I didn't eat much for a while after that for fear of seeing it again and I lost about 6 pounds. The nausea has gotten a lot better and I've been making better food choices. I'm also doing a lot better on the weight gain perspective as well. I do get headaches from time to time and the only thing you can do for that is just wait for them to go away. There are days where I don't do much around the house because chasing Aiden takes all of my extra energy away. My favorite part of being pregnant is the kicks you get to feel as reminders that they are still healthy and happy!

This time around we were I was really impatient on the waiting to find out the gender thing. I just had to know as soon as possible! I researched elective sonographers in my area and found a place that did it for a really great price! We took some of our family and got to find out at 16 weeks that we were having a boy! We purchased a package and go back around 28 weeks to get our last 3-D ultrasound of our little man.

We haven't done a single thing to get his room ready and it's killing me! We have a guest bed to move out, carpet to rip up, flooring to lay down, and a closet to clean out. By this time with Aiden, all of his furniture was moved in and I was just waiting on his bedding. I can't wait to get started and share pictures!

Overall, this pregnancy has been such a breeze and I'm loving it! Adam and I joke that since Aiden gave me such a tough time when I was pregnant, he was an angel when he was welcomed into the world. We are worried that since Tucker is an easier pregnancy, that he will be the devil made over when he gets here. I hope not! We'll see!